Is going on vacation stressful? How to really get away from work. Part 1

I buckled in and waited for take off. Other passengers were streaming by, anxious to put their luggage away and find their seats. Taking a few deep breaths, I shifted my focus from work to the trip ahead: a five-day trip to Lisbon, Portugal, to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary with my husband. Yay! Although I love to travel, finding the time to take a vacation can be difficult. The week before a trip is often filled with feelings that there is so much to get done: be sure all the emails are answered, patient messages responded to, lab results processed, laundry done, plants watered, and mail delivery on hold. I end up thinking maybe vacation was a bad idea. I know that if I’m on the airplane, ready for take-off, and have a persistent sense that there are balls in the air that I am expected to manage, it is difficult to relax. In the past, I would maintain a sense of responsibility and tell my team I was available if they needed me. I’d check emails at least once daily and respond to texts or phone calls. I thought I was being a good leader. I’ve since learned about my tendency to overfunction and not rely on support. I wanted the glory of being important. I am now more intentional with my team and have cultivated support so that I can unplug and get away. My message now is: “You got this. I trust your decisions.” I think this is better leadership.

Vacation Ready Mindset

To really disconnect, one needs the mindset that you deserve a vacation, and it is helpful for you. Deserving vacation doesn’t mean you have worked hard enough to “deserve it.” Instead, you deserve it because you are a human being. You deserve vacation for who you are, not what you do. Importantly, you need a mindset that vacation is good for you, it is good for your family, and it is good for your work. In a survey of physicians, the investigators found that physicians who reported taking more than three weeks of vacation had lower rates of burnout (Sinsky et al. JAMA Netw Open 2024). Although this study was performed on physicians, other industries have had similar findings (Friedman R, HBR 2015). Vacation, particularly vacations in nature, increases creativity, lowers stress hormones, and restores our body and mind. While on vacation, we can reconnect with our true selves, which helps us navigate life with greater ease. These are all important for our long-term well-being. Even if you absolutely love your work, it is good for you and your work to take a break. It’s not just about going to a different location and working a little less; it is vital to disconnect truly. In the survey study of physicians, those who spent 30 or more minutes daily doing work-related activities had a 58% higher odds of experiencing burnout. That rose to 92%, higher for those doing 60-90 minutes of work (Sinsky et al. JAMA Netw Open 2024). Human beings need rest. Like the natural world, our bodies and minds work in cycles. There are periods of peak activity (morning and summer) and there are periods of decay and contraction (dead of night and winter). We work best when we honor these cycles with small breaks daily and more significant breaks, aka vacations, every few months.

Allowing Support

It’s easy to feel like you are letting people down by taking a vacation or believe you will burden your team as no one else can do what you do. To really unplug, you want to trust your colleagues and team to manage things while you are gone. If you live in a world where you are the only one who can do what you do, then you will never be free of work, not even for a minute. A world like this, where we are so important, has appeal and may feel good for a time. However, like a wicked witch initially disguised as a fairy godmother, the frightening malevolent ways of this approach will eventually be known. The truth is, other people can do what you do. You are not so indispensable. If you find yourself truly alone and set up by your team to be “indispensable,” work to cross-train people and share your process. This is better for you and your company.

Despite intellectually knowing these things, you may still have some blocks to embracing vacation and leaning into the energy of rest and rejuvenation. If so, consider journaling, letting speak the part of you that is fearful of vacation, or letting go. You may find a way to reassure this part that it will all be okay.

Next month, I’ll dive into some strategies for getting away from work.