How I Created a 700-Day Meditation Streak
The kitchen was quiet and dark; only one small reading lamp illuminated the couch where I sat cross-legged. My cat roamed about, vacillating between chasing the shadows and coyly rubbing against me, lovingly enticing me to pet her. Looking down at my phone, I saw my 700th consecutive day of meditation registered on my meditation app. I paused and took a deep breath while a contented smile emerged. My 700-day streak meant I had meditated every day for the past 1.9 years. I’m not sure that I have done anything other than the necessary bodily functions and brushing my teeth every day for more than a month, let alone a whole year and most of the next.
Over the years and before the advent of smartphone apps, I attempted to meditate on a few occasions but didn’t feel its power. Trying to still my mind seemed impossible; after a few meek stabs at it, I didn’t feel a change, so I stopped. It was June of 2022 when I was walking with my sister and had just finished telling her a story about a frustration at work that she told me I needed to meditate.
Taking my sister’s advice, I tried apps like Calm, Headspace, and Insight Timer and landed on a 30-day introduction to meditation on Calm. Despite my intention to meditate daily, the day seemed to get in the way, often ending with me in bed realizing I hadn’t meditated. Despite telling myself I would do it later, I rarely did. At that time, I spent my mornings trying to get ahead of the day’s work by responding to emails, completing patient notes, or responding to patient messages.
Like someone who had just discovered a new and delicious ice cream flavor, I told everyone who would listen how great meditation was and how much calmer I felt; yet I still was finding it hard to do as a matter of routine. However, on December 18, 2022, my current streak started. I don’t remember if anything meaningful happened that day. It was just the beginning. Prior to this, my longest streak was 34 days. A few weeks into my current streak, I enrolled in a program for women with burnout, and we were encouraged to create a morning routine away from phones and computers to attend to one’s self before engaging with the world. I found this liberating.
I learned to ignore the rush of the day and felt like things that usually bothered me — the clamoring of national election news, an urgent request to complete a school field trip form, or the belittling reminder of being told my clinic notes are late. Meditation became a part of my morning routine. Now, instead of grinding through emails and work, I stretch, breathe, and meditate. My day now begins with calm, ease, and an understanding of how I feel. The things I do when I first get out of bed, feed the cat, and boil water are my cues to meditate, almost like getting dressed in the morning and changing into my pajamas at night are my cues to brush my teeth. After meditating every day, I now anticipate this quiet time like a craving and covet the connection with what lies below the surface of my life. Eventually, the feeling of stillness and peace I achieved became a greater reward than the streak itself. The capacity to observe my thoughts, watching them come and go, has moved from occurring only with meditation to occurring in everyday situations. This observation allows me to find space between a trigger and a response in which I can now choose my response and am less likely to react in a way that I will later regret.
With my goal to meditate daily, I don’t meditate the same way all the time. Sometimes it's just 10 minutes. Sometimes it’s 40 minutes. Sometimes, it's with guided meditation through an app. Sometimes, it’s just me clearing my thoughts, trying to drop into wordlessness and expanded awareness. Sometimes, I get moments of clarity. Sometimes, my mind jumps all over the place like a toddler on a sugar high. Regardless of what I do or how “successful” it feels, I know it moves me closer to being the person I want to be. Each bit of meditation slows me down to be more responsive and less reactive by stretching the space between. From this place, I can make better decisions that align with my true self; I can be present for the bits of joy and wonder in my life, and I can be compassionate with myself when things don’t go as planned.
I’m not planning on stopping my daily meditation, but my current streak will likely eventually end. I’m not sure how this will happen, but I can anticipate something out of my control getting in the way. Maybe a bad cold or an emergency that will occupy my day. Or it may be that I choose not to meditate one day. Regardless of the cause, disappointment will follow. If I only meditate to perpetuate the streak, I would likely stop meditating altogether once the streak breaks. Instead, I hope I will be kind to myself and remember the value of meditation for the meditation, not the streak and the fun of telling people that I have meditated for 700 consecutive days (737 now).